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Happy New Year all Spirit Mind Body Visitors!

Monday, 06 January 2014 14:26

Written by Loren Goldenberg-Kosbab

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Another year is upon us, with I feel a lot more potential.  New Years 2014

With the build up to 2012, it kind of felt that there was an expectation of a new start, a new world, and if we made it this far, we would be welcomed (with escorting fanfare) into it.

In a way maybe we did! However, there weren’t any assurances that it would be a clean transition. Personally, it has been more of roller coaster ride through a wasteland with more dips and turns, that would stretch even the most imaginative of minds, to refer to this transition, in anyway exciting. Nope it’s not been thrilling, more of a hold on to your seat for dear life kind of ride!

As a result for the past few years, whilst trying to get to grips with the occasional stops before I was off again, my poor old website has been neglected. The appearance to anyone visiting, must have looked as if it has been abandoned, but in reality, whilst I figured out my path, the site has been ticking over by itself, waiting my return.

Unfortunately, a lot longer than I had anticipated, as those moments of clarity and being focused turned into being totally unable to put anything remotely coherent together. At this point you might be thinking it still hasn’t, but au contraire! This is progress as I am actually publishing for all to see my incoherent babble!

Yes indeed, with the onset of the New Year approaching, there was a feeling of something lifting, an invisible shackle; excitement started to burn in the belly and a yearning to build a fresh, even on old turf (must have been a Mayan in a former life as they built a new on top of the old!).

With the dawning of the new Moon, I actually did something I have never done before. I went into London, on my own, on a train late at night, from a station I had never travelled from, embarking on a journey into a strange world jam packed full of people, knowing I had health problems that could potentially leave me stranded, up a creek with out a paddle.

It was an adventure! I enjoyed it immensely and felt that it marked a new courage developing, or knowing at the very least.

Crowds and me don’t usually farewell, normally setting off a wave of panic, and confusion - this was the biggest crowd ever with what must have been close to two hundred thousand people! Yet I felt safe, calm and comfortable, well almost - anyone thinking of doing this, don’t wear socks with non-slip grips, as this really hurts after a few hours!

I’m under no illusion it most definitely was a push to get me out of my comfort zone, and I nearly gave up at the first hurdle when I couldn’t figure out the blasted ticket machine. Then upon asking how to work the damn thing, a lovely young man gave me his ticket, which was reusable and wished me Happy New Year. As it turns out I couldn’t use the ticket but the train conductor, realising after asking me for a Railcard (crap) that I was a newbie at this and didn’t penalise me for the obvious fraudulent attempt. Tut tut, I know naughty!

In fact as I have been writing this, it has struck me that last piece I wrote in May 2012 “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results - It's insanity!” was the start. Writing and airing my thoughts set the Universal gears into motion, not quite how I expected it!

Yes, my comfort zone these past few years has well and truly been challenged, and for all those interested (please skip to next paragraph if bored already), it started with a court battle with my landlord for half a year trying not to get kicked out of my home of 6 years but was eventually made homeless; My business on it’s knees; My son finally leaving the nest; Waiting for 3 months to get a home of my own, having to re home permanently my beloved cat companions as a result. Then damaging my car (my only asset) by hitting a pothole on New Years Eve 2013 and trying to reason with Highways until I finally got a result and fixed car; Poverty stricken in between time as my health took a dramatic plunge; My benefits stopped leaving me with no income at all, then reinstated weeks later but reduced so much, I barely had enough left to eat properly.  At this point I was willing to give up totally, what was the point of going on. Some of you will know what I am talking about here.
Night of fireTo top it off, about six weeks in my new home, my disabled neighbour sets her flat on fire, nearly killing herself in the process. I didn’t let that happen though, because as soon as I heard her screams, I was out there (snow on ground) kicking her door in, and physically rescuing her (where I got the energy and strength from I don’t know!).  I made the local papers; I was even awarded a certificate of Bravery by the Fire Service, and nominated for two other awards!

Now, I am not one for shouting about what I go through, unless there is some meaning for others that may help them, so this post is not about pity or praise. My story is not uncommon, but there is something in common of what I have experienced, over and over. Can you guess?

SAFETY this has been my biggest hang up, I have felt unsafe in this world for as long as I could remember, so I relied or so I thought on others to make me feel safe, truth is the Universe has shown me, I am the one that makes myself feel safe (and often others).  I have been fortunate to have lovely friends and family to help me through the dire times, and truly thankful to them for helping me cast the trainer wheels aside - this is my first year out of 45 years of existence, to live on my own and to feel safer than I have ever been.

So as not to bore the pants off you any longer, I’ll leave you with this thought - if you have been also experiencing a lot of challenges (I know many are going through difficult times too for whatever reason), do check to see if there are patterns. What’s the underlying feeling that it triggers? Is it an old belief or someone else’s belief even that you have taken on about yourself? Does this belief hinder you going forward? Look to see if actually it's really true then by reinforcing all that has been achieved already, don’t compare to others, and don’t ever give up hope!

Look out for my next post where I will tell you what my plans are for Spirit Mind Body website and more for 2014. 

Until then Best Wishes!

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Comments  

 
0 #2 UK coursework servic 2017-01-25 10:46
Cheers to the happy new year. May it be a memorable one. Happy New Year.
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0 #1 fast essay help 2017-01-10 10:20
Wishing you a Happy New Year with the hope that you will have many blessings in the year to come.
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