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The Attraction of Paying it Forward

Monday, 04 July 2011 17:46

Written by Loren Goldenberg-Kosbab

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By now most people have heard about the Law of Attraction “like attracts like”. This new thought movement redefines the way we think and phrase our wants and desires such as “I need more money” creates a perpetual cycle in which you are constantly needing more money, therefore better to rephrase for example “I have more than enough money”.The attraction of paying it forward

Now rephrasing and retraining our brains to directly attract more abundance is highly recommended, however it does centres on the individual. This can often filter into the way we interact with others and come across as my wants, my desires, me, me, me.  For some, this is a good thing, especially those who give and never take as it teaches them to have more self-interest, however it can also encourage selfishness.

Recently a lot of new age writers are endorsing selfishness, but do we really understand what selfishness is?  The quick definition is “excessive concern for oneself which exceeds mere self-interest or self-concern, and knowingly burdens or harms others for personal gain”. In today’s society it is apparent that personal gain is the primary focus but with it a cycle comes to a halt.

How many times have you tried to implement the Law of Attraction basics, it all seems to work for a while, your ecstatic and then you get a slump. We expect the process to work continuously, but no amount of positive affirmations seems to work. Like the Universe, the Law of Attraction works in a cyclical way.

Did you ever watch the film "Pay it Forward"? A charming film based on the novel of the same name, by Author Catherine Ryan Hyde.

A 12-year-old boy is given a school project by his social studies teacher; the task to create a plan that would "save the world through direct action". A noble task and even greater task to achieve!

With such conviction he implemented his plan, which basically was doing a good deed without expecting return, it's knock on affect spread like wild fire. The film doesn't have a happy ending, unfortunately with the young lad dying. Sadly some years later doing a good deed for others seems to be far from a lot of peoples mind, in fact most people today are too busy or self engrossed to help or give to another.

Law of Attraction involves paying it forward

When a situation arises that involves helping someone else, do you instantly think I don’t have time for this? Consider why you have been drawn to that person, it’s for a reason. All that’s needed could be a kind word or short conversation with a friend, family member or even a total stranger.  They could be in real need that day, down, depressed, close to despair and your connection with them may lift his or her spirit enough to overt a tragedy from happening.

Often we go about thinking about our lives and ourselves and too busy to think about another especially a stranger, but maybe what you have been affirming the Universe has drawn you to this very situation in order to receive it!

An Example of How it Works

A while back I had to meet up with a client. By the time the meeting was finished, I was busting for the toilet and starving on top due to not eating anything that day.  Feeling rather nauseous, as it was a very hot day, I headed for my local cafe; revelling in the thought of an all day breakfast, cool drink and general relief.  As I approached the corner of the street the cafe was in, a young black woman stood there looking rather lost.  I looked at her, walked passed but felt that she needed something, so I stopped, turned and asked if she was all right.  She was trying to find a particular road but I couldn't understand her very well as she was from Nigeria and her accent strong.

Smartly dressed and going for an interview, she tells me that she's looking for a particular road. Eventually, I realise where she was talking about.  It was miles away - I suggested a bus, but had no clue as to which one. Coming from Luton on a bus, she expresses that her time for the interview was fast approaching. I suggested a taxi and she enquired how much do they charge. I replied with an approximate figure. Looking disappointed, I could see that she was experiencing anxiety. She would not make the interview at this rate.  I could have just walked off, offering apologies that I couldn't help her and return to my needs. But I didn’t "Come on I will drive you there" she was shocked! Totally forgetting I was busting for the loo and starving hungry, we got in the car and got her to the interview 20 mins before her time. She thanked me endlessly asking what could she do in return - well you know what I said. She took my number and said she would call. She didn't and I don't expect her to.

The Cycle Never Stops - Unless you Stop it.

I was happy to help this stranger, it could be me one day and knowing that some day when I needed help or something, the Universe would return the gesture.  It came less than a few days later. 

I had seen an advert on a freecycling site, it was for a camera tripod, and someone was giving it away. I had been looking for one for ages as my old one gave me back ache, finances low, I would not be able to afford a new one. Answering the advert, I left the Universe to take over. Would I be fortunate? I was! It was almost brand new, expensive and the perfect height!

By giving to another with genuine thought and kindness, without expectation you will be keeping the cycle going. If you focus on a return or reciprocal gesture, you have expectations are unrealistic and you’re going to be sorely disappointed.  You may not see a return from them, but it does return to you in the most beautiful ways.

Keep the cycle going – Do something wonderful today and tomorrow, in fact do it as often as you can, pay it forward without focusing on your gain, even the smallest of gestures will return to you. Gratitude is expressed and a positive affect will manifest Abundance.


Loren Goldenberg-Kosbab is a creator, communicator and fellow adventurer on this journey called life.  Alternative Health practitioner and Holistic Web designer by profession she owns and runs Spirit Mind Body UK website. Conceived and built at a cross roads in her life with the desire to connect with like minded souls; learn from them and pass knowledge on from her life experiences. At another cross roads now, Loren has embarked on a new adventure, her realised life purpose…writing.

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